Friday, November 9, 2012


Ed. Note: When my great friend D. A. is in this space with her brilliant writing and philosophical point of view, she helps us see life from a different, often gentler angle (more rounded as the French would say). If you want more of her intelligent musings -- and who wouldn't (?) -- please visit her HERE.

             That dreadful date that led me to replace my eyeglasses because the gentleman I was dining with was, well... less than kind in some of his remarks about my frames? 

(Imagine a first encounter, and a lunch companion commenting on the fact that my spectacles set on the table were out-of-date and worn. That man was no gentleman!)

The 60-something woman I met a few hours later, as I was feeling dejected and forlorn, but nonetheless trying on glasses?

She was French. She was helpful. She was chatty. And she smiled as I bemoaned en français – “I’m still feisty and flirty, but at fifty-something, there are no good men!”  

Wouldn’t you bemoan that state of affairs, too, after 10 years of spotty post-divorce dating? It's a tricky balance with children, often relying on online services, and oh-so many disappointments to chalk up as lessons.

After a lively exchange with the energetic femme d'un certain âge (and the most fun trying on purple frames but deciding on rouge), she said… “I have a younger brother. Divorced. Older than you but younger than I am. Can I give him your number?”

What the heck, I thought. “Sure,” I said. 

18 months later, we’re still together. And happy.



My professional web site with a current resume? It went up a few months back, after many obstacles and, I confess, with some reluctance. I sacrificed the freedom of semi-anonymity by tying it to my Daily Plate of Crazy. I mention reluctance because there is a measure of privacy in keeping one’s professional life and one’s more open, dreaming, and reflective “writing life” separate.

But I sensed there would be opportunity in some bridge between my two worlds. So I let down the veil, and literally days later, an opportunity arrived on the scene that required social media and blogging.

The fact of my blog? It helped.

The timing?

I would call it – serendipity.


All those clothes? Red and blue? Purple and orange? 

Though I've been flirting madly with the color orange, I eliminated the pumpkin skirt. I nixed its violet cohort. I set aside the teal Michael Kors heels. (I kept the others and sheepishly admit before I was done I added a few.)

But I did go to the conference! Amazing! (It’s been a dozen years since I’ve done anything like that – brave for me in a way – and instructive as well as fun.)

Still, I felt silly taking eight… yes eight pairs of pumps, boots, slides, and sandals. I simply couldn’t decide, and while I narrowed the clothing selection to a modest few pieces in black, gray, and red – the colors of my site – I did the same with the footwear but still ended up with eight choices.

At the conference, unknown to me, the first night’s event was a costume party. We were supposed to attend as a superhero or a superpower. What on earth would I do?

I donned my red skirt and red glasses. (Both made me feel more powerful.) A nice little black top and jacket went on next. Then black striped tights and black boots.

My key to “successful aging” as the experts now call it? What perks me up and hikes me up - chaussures!   

I implored the receptionist at the hotel desk to search for ribbon and scissors which she found, and I took a few minutes to string my sexy slingbacks, precocious peep toes, and my stacked stilettos - twisting and tying and transforming le tout - into belts and necklaces. Soon they were all dangling around my waist and neck as I was adorned with shoes.  

My superpower? Isn't it obvious? Footwear! And the fact that I had all those options to choose from?



Any delicious serendipitous happenings in your world? Aren’t they wondrous when they occur? 


hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Red shoes are fabulous!
Red specs sound like serious fun.
love all these serendipitous events too.

Karen Albert said...

I say this all the time; there are really good men out there. It is serendipitous though I believe that!

Love how you creatively put a costume together!Powerful woman!

Art by Karena

BigLittleWolf said...

Shoes. My miracle cure to almost any problem.

(And yes. There are some wonderful men out there. Men who adore "women of a certain age." But you won't necessarily find them online.)

We need to get out in the world, and say yes to every opportunity we can!

Mindy Trotta said...

I am a word person, and seredipity is one of my favorites. A few months back I went on a food tour of the North End hosted by a group of women (Betterafter50). Thought perhaps I might make a friend. It was brutally hot, and I almost backed out, but I went, and a few days later they called and asked if I would like to work for them! How's that for serendipity!

BigLittleWolf said...

@Mindy - That's some incredible serendipity indeed! And oh, how I loved my times of meandering the North End! Those desserts! (The men...)

For those here who aren't visiting BetterAfter50 ( - you should. You would love it!

Mindy, I hope you enjoy reading Tish and meeting some of her incredible readers and guests from all over the world. Amazing individuals.

Chloe said...

D.A., the best part of your serendipitous escapade to that event is that you and I met. That was really the high point.

It is true that while we run around making plans, life happens. It is those serendipitous moments that change the course of our lives. Often we don't welcome those surprise moments, but I've found they are often the ones that turn out to make my life much better than the little plans I was making.

Susan Williams said...

I sense serendipity wherever I go, whatever I do.
This morning, I was reading a book, where the author mentioned a much admired friend.
Turns out: I KNEW this friend, too.
We met in the OB's office 15 years ago, as we both waited to see our high-risk pregnancy doctor.
It turned out, we gave birth, the same day, in rooms that were side by side.
Both of us gave birth to precious girl babies.
She lives just across the state line,and so our paths have not crossed in 15 years.
Those baby girls have breasts and zits.

It's time to re-connect with that former friend.

Or God's provision/call on my life, for such a time as this?

You decide.

Lois Alter Mark said...

I love the whole idea of serendipity (not to mention the frozen hot chocolate at the famous Serendipity in NYC!). And the power of shoes can never be underestimated -- just look at Cinderella! Great piece, and next time I need to throw an outfit together, I know who to call!

BigLittleWolf said...

@Chloe - And it was so much fun to meet you guys! I couldn't believe everything worked out for me to do so (serendipitous right there)... It was worth all the juggling to do it! And it was a way to wear all those shoes without every worrying about when my feet might start to hurt!

@Susan - Your story has me agape. (Breasts and zits has me laughing.)

BigLittleWolf said...

@Lois - Cinderella! Yes! But in this case my Prince Charming was an entire conference of incredible writing and blogging women.

Ah, the famous Serendipity in Manhattan. I hope it has managed to fare okay with the recent terrible storm.

Barb said...

Serendipity? Yes. Coincidence? Not so much. We just have to be open to it. We just have to be open to life. I had a few serendipitous happenings on a recent trip to Italy. Travel fairies. Language angels. It's the serendipity while traveling that makes the stories and memories, I think.

Kathy Leeds said...

I'm so happy and relieved that it's actually healthy for my aging process to buy shoes. Wow - serendipity indeed. OK, off to Neiman Marcus right now...

BigLittleWolf said...

@Barb - Yes, to being open!

@Kathy - Yes. Shoes are absolutely good for your health! (Mental health, certainly.)

knitpurl said...

BLW, you are one great writer. Never thought of Serendipity, but your post and everyone else's were awesome! On a dreary, foggy, US Midwest evening, this was so fun to read. Thank you all for the cheer! And shoes - really now, is there anything so nice as a gorgeous new pair of shoes - totally calorie free. Bon Weekend to all, xoxo.

Val Sparkle said...

Serendipity in saying yes to a drink with the man at the next table in the restaurant, who had seen me in a different restaurant the night before (we were both traveling). Eighteen years later, we're still together in a wonderful, bi-cultural marriage!

Say yes!

BigLittleWolf said...

@Knitpurl - You are a sweetheart! Thank you! (And I say - shoes with everything...)

@Val - Now that sounds like some cheery serendipity. And I'm a huge fan of bi-cultural / multi-cultural. So much richesse.

Amelia said...

D.A., this is another one of your fun but thought provoking post. How brilliant and creative on your part to make a necklace and belt out of shoes.

I wonder if being overly practical about things blog serendipitous moments. Just musing about your post but gladly I'm not overly practical. Or those serendipitous moments where I just happened to be at a shoe store, when my favorite pair of shoes are on sale would never have happened.


BigLittleWolf said...

Amelia, I agree with you. I think we need to strike a balance between being practical and allowing for spontaneity to enter our lives. It's so easy to get bogged down in responsibilities and expectations. But sometimes, you have to go with the flow and give yourself to that "yes" without knowing what's coming.

Oh, for those serendipitous SALE moments (especially chaussures). They're very sweet, aren't they? And basically, harmless?

Besides, now you know that shoes can double as belts and necklaces!

Mary said...

So i'm going to sound like i'm sixteen when i say this.. (and i'm far from it, lol) But serendipity is awesome! I've had so many wonderful 'episodes' of it throughout my lifetime. The most important being meeting by loving partner of 21 years. He and i met on a blind date no less. How that blind date came about in such a round about way though, was serendipity at its finest! Glad you're happy and have experience so much of this wonderful quality in your life!

Leslie said...

Such a fun serendipitous post! I met my husband 34 years ago (been married for 30). Marriage is not a cake walk and we all go through happy and sad times.

I had a patient come in this week that told me her skin was looking "drawn" as she (age 56) recently found out her husband has been having an affair with a 31 year old. She's going through therapy and HE is not because he says he "done" and does need therapy. She will stay and try to work through this dreadful valley. My heart goes out to her. She is afraid to move..

I'm happy to hear that you have found the love of your life and things are going perfectly :) It's always wonderful to meet other women (over 50) that aren't afraid. Success stories are always wonderful to hear .. you are no doubt happy, confident, and not concerned about stepping outside your comfort zone :)

Thanks for stopping by to say hello today!


Cheap summer dresses said...

Thank you very much.

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