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| Decisions, decisions. What to do about going gray -- or not? |
She writes so well and is very funny and has great ideas and from the paragraphs below she seems to like me so I'm more than pleased she'll be here and I'm sure you will be as well.
Here then. . . ta-daa is The Gold Digger!
I am so honored that Tish has invited me to be a guest blogger. I am not a fashion/style/beauty expert. Far from it. As I write this, I am sitting in my running clothes, which is not so bad, but it took me until 12:30 p.m. to change out of my pajamas. I will be showered and dressed before 5:00, I promise.
[And I broke that promise. I was showered. But not dressed. Unless you count the new fluffy pink bathrobe that was a Christmas present from your sister as "dressed."]
Tish is good for me because she has motivated me to take a little more care with my appearance (despite today's attire) than I have been. When one is an unemployed gold-digger living off her used husband, it is hard to find the motivation to sparkle, although really, that should be the motivation right there - a gold-digger should try to keep her husband really happy, wouldn't you think? But thanks to Tish, I make more of an effort now. I even use the proper product for removing my eye makeup! Did you know you are not supposed to use just soap and water? I didn't. Not until Tish.
Here is my current fashion dilemma: What should I do about my hair? I am asking you because I have read the comments and visited the blogs of those who come here and I know I am in the presence of giants. Of women who Know These Things. I need your help.
My hair used to be blonde - naturally blonde - and then I stopped working as a lifeguard and a swimming teacher in the summer and had to stay inside all year.
Maybe that's not natural blonde. Maybe that's with an assist from the sun and the chlorine blonde. Then it became with an assist from John the stylist at the West University salon in Houston. Then I became a Peace Corps volunteer and you don't even want to know what happened then but it wasn't pretty. A 20 hour bus ride + a showing of "Ghost" on that ride = very bad hair decision for moi.
For the past several years, it has been Clairol Natural Instincts #24 Clove. I dallied with #22 Cinaberry for a while, but red is too hard to maintain and magenta-y red is even harder.
Now it is #24 Clove with gray roots. I used to color it because I wanted a change. Now I color because I am not ready to be drab with shots of gray.
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| This doesn't make sense to me, but it appears whoever made the chart has decided to fight nature. |
Lisa covered this issue a while ago, but she is 1. an actual blonde 2. going a nice silvery gray.
I am a used-to-be blonde turned mousy brown turned oh so drab with some steely gray at the part.
Spending $100 a month for a professional to color my hair is not an option. I am a gold-digger, but there is not that much gold to dig.
What do I do?
PS Come see me at my blog, The Diary of A Gold Digger, or at my other blog.
29 comments:
I am 58...and I would just about go hungry than give up my once a month appointment to fight off the gray! I wish I wasn't this way...i am just not ready to give in! Maybe as I get more into my 60s, I will accept it...but underneath my brown hair is silver gray. Sigh...I don't have a big budget (far from it) but this has to be a priority for me now! I will be curious to see what you decide.
Start with foils of a flattering grey/blonde shade through your hair ... then the gray roots won't be so obvious ... red/brown/gold clash with grey so make sure the foils are more grey/blonde and no gold in them.
Then you have lovely highlights and you can take your time deciding rather than a dramatic change. I am the same - was blonde, now mousey/grey but I have blonde foils right through my hair with the mousey colour as the contrast. It looks more natural than a solid colour.
I loved the post today. I am certainly a slave to my hair.... and now...every three weeks, my roots are done!!! Imagine? If I could look as fabulous as the woman you have posted, I might think twice!! For now, I will continue.. at some time I will choose to go gray!!
I let mine go grey and I don't regret it at all. Mind you it's gone sort of steel grey with natural highlights so I'm lucky I guess.
Colouring my hair was very hard on it, even with regular conditioner. The texture was dry and brittle. My hair is much softer and healthier now and I don't need any conditioner at all.
I spend the money I save on colour for a better stylist - a good cut keeps me feeling chic.
The grey dilemma! I like grey hair if it has a feature or a drama to it... not just strays or roots... it must be purposeful and worn with pride. My hair is a mousy brown (was blonde) going grey and I add highlights every two months that are silvery blond... it works and it's low maintenance. Can you see the greys?... Yes... but they blend and I am ok with that. I don't tint because then I would be in the chair every two weeks and that is not only expensive but boring...
Good luck... try some highlights.. you can always cover them if you don't like them... Good to meet you by the way.... Thanks Tish.. xv
Hard for me to comment without seeing a photo of you. I looked for one on your blog, and couldn't find one?
So - no idea of your coloring, your hair style, etc.
I'm not ready to be gray yet, might not ever be. But I do like it on some people, and I admire women who have the guts to go gray. My hair would be almost all gray, but I have it done a medium brown, with caramel highlights (very few, around my face) - works for me. Yes it's expensive, time consuming, and boring.
So - where's a photo of you?
I'm a natural gray. I still have quite a bit of my natural brown and the color is really nice. In fact, a woman at the gym uses me as a role model and allowed herself to go au natural. I have very short hair and a really tremendous cut. I drive 1 hour each way every 3 weeks for this stylist and I've been with her for about 15 years.
Hubby doesn't want me to color my hair and finds it silly when the wife shows no gray and the husband is snowy white. I think it is all how you feel about yourself. I like the way my hair looks (on me).
Much as I hate to admit it, depending upon where you live, to gray or not to gray has practical considerations.
1: The job market
2: The meat (uh, dating) market
If you are employed (and feel relatively safe as such) or, you're not worried about other sources of income disappearing like Brigadoon (only to reappear a century later?), then the consequence of looking younger and therefore more marketable for job purposes is not an issue.
Gray or silver hair when you're not job searching? Fine. If you are? Not so fine.
As for item number 2, and being single in midlife (while still appreciative of the delights of a romantic liaison), if you're happily partnered and aforementioned partner finds you sexy as you are - great!
If you're on the market (or think you may be), the gray / silver tends to be a disadvantage. At least, in the U.S.
That $100/month becomes as important as the food budget.
One last thought - if that's you in the picture - you look gorgeous, sexy, confident. A silver fox. Go for it.
I'll be 57 in a few weeks and I am not ready for grey yet.
I will embrace grey when I have enough to make a statement so far it's on the temple area and very mousey.
I'd like to see your picture to enable me to comment.
I saw a woman the other day who was so striking with her silver hair. She appeared about my age. It ALMOST made me reconsider my coloring. I am just not quite ready.
Blondes do seem to have an easier time to transition to a beautiful silvery grey.
xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
Well girls I let the grey come on. I know it wasn't hard at the time but now since I am older and people seem to tell me they thought I was older I am having second thoughts. I wear it in a bobb cut . some like it some don't. I am a widow and don't have any men knocking on the door LOL so will just stay grey. I have been told I look like Paula Deen I take that as a big compliment because I think she is so pretty, my hair is not that white
I have seen some beautiful grey headed women
Oh this is what I spend my money on, I was wondering where it all went every month but I fork out $265, pffft.
I will go silver grey as I think it's a stunning colour but I think I'll wait till my 60's.
It's ridiculous, all that just to look like me.
A really tough decision. It would be so much easier if we would just turn grey all at once, you know, like on the first Monday after your xxth birthday... or if we all looked like photo above!
In my middle 60's and just now starting to have a bit of grey. I colored in my 40's and 50's, but for what? Now I'm taking a "wait a bit and see" stance until I know how it's going to be like as it lightens. Nearly everyone assumes that I color because I am too dark for my age. You just can't win!
Glad you've agreed to help Tish while she is busy.
I can't actually tell if I have any grey lurking in my highlights and lowlights - and that's the way it's going to stay! I'm never going grey if I can help it. Some people can do it, if it's a nice pure white or silvery shade, but you need to have a super sharp cut and the right skin tone to pull it off without being consigned to the decrepit granny bin well before your time!
Fabulous post! I'm way too pale-complected (is that the right word?) to let nature have her way. I spend between $100 and $200 per month to maintain my "natural" color. Worth it. My husband is youthful-looking, so I refuse to age faster than him.
An easy decision. Women are tortured into over thinking it. It is nature, it is supposed to happen and it is beautiful, period. We only make it ugly with endless doubt and negativity. And that adds to more doubt and negativity and it becomes a ridiculous obstacle that should not even exist. Liberation is beautiful, presents confidence, honesty and a good, sound understanding of smart financial decisons! Be yourself. Go for it!
I think if you get highlight (lots) you might get away without going every month maybe once every 2 months. Then you could gradually change to all silver. Actually now silver is in style for any age:)
Jenniferxx
I started going grey in high school, so I've moved from Loving Care to highlights and streaks back to Loving Care to cellophanes (waste of time and money) and most recently, single process every 3 weeks (yes, my hair grows that fast) with a genius who creates the appearance of expensive high/lowlights by picking up a strand now and then and running the dye along it while the roots are cooking. I'm resting my hair now because I had a terrible dream about being bald, and I have about and an inch and a half of grey at the roots. And another family genetic quirk -there's no brown left in my eyes, the irises are all green with black rims. So all of a sudden I'm very curious about what it'll look like all grey!
I am 65 and still blond. Mousy brown was my natural color a long time ago. I am not an all-over blond, but have been getting highlights all these years to be blond. This worked really well until a lot a gray started showing up. I still get hightlights and lowlights and bleach lights and it all looks pretty natural. Spending priorities are important, but to be very honest, gray hair looks OLD. Do what you must, but color! You won't regret it, and your husband will secretly thank you and his friends will envy him! It's a win, win situation!
I have gone through the process after discovering a nasty little white 'Black Beauty' star on my crown when my roots grew out, so I had my hair expertly lightened and streaked, (and cut pretty short) then grew it out and switched to bleaching it myself, Clairol.
Best thing is my hair is shiny (is it the treatment, or all the omega-3s I down?), now pretty long and tied back in a low ponytail all the time, as I don't like to look like a sixty-four year old fairy princess hopeful. This solution is VERY ECONOMICAL!
How serendipitous to read this! I have just returned from the hairdresser where I have banished my grey roots for another 4.5 to 5 wks before they start to poke their wizened little heads through again.
I was a strawberry blonde as a child, then auburn as an adult. I am still fighting the good fight all these years later.
I would love to surrender, but my Mother's silvery grey would not work for me. Her skin tones are cool (pale pink), while mine are warm (pale ivory).
I do believe your skin tone dictates how successfully you can pull off grey hair.
Color it! I was blond as a child, then turned mousy brown. Started blond highlighting in high school, which worked great until there got to be too much grey in there. Now 55, have been doing single process light brown for several years, and the more grey I get the lighter brown I go. Will probably be blond again pretty soon! I think that's ok since I have green eyes & fair skin.
My mom started going white at 20; she had dark brown hair and wore the Lily Munster streak for a few years, then colored dark brown until her mid-40s, when she thought the brown was too harsh & went blond. She used to debate about going natural, but kept the blond until about 75, at which point she said she was old enough to go grey!
If you want to color it, shop around. I was paying $150+ per session (about every 7 weeks), but I stopped into a local salon and discovered that they'll do the same thing for $80 plus tip. I have mousy brown hair thats probably 50% gray. I'm not going gray until I'm about 95%. My gray friends look fabulous, but they have to really think about how to style their hair and colors to wear.
l'm another ashy blonde with loads of grey coming through now and l also just do a scattering of lighter foils about every three months. The grey still shows but blended with the foils it all looks fine.
Best of luck with whatever decision you make !
I used to have lovely chestnut brown hair when I was younger, but started to go grey in my late thirties. I did colour my hair for about 1 1/2 years but it was too much like work so I let it go grey. My reasons are;
1) I have better things to spend my money on. Like a trip to Paris maybe?
2) I am lazy (!!!)
3) I have earned every single grey hair I have and have nothing to be ashamed of. I am 49 1/2 after all.
4) I have a great stylist who cuts my hair like no other stylist I have ever had. God Bless Her!
5) Oddly enough I get tons of compliments on my grey hair, and usually the phrase " I would go grey too if my hair would look like yours"
I would be willing to bet that most women who colour would have fabulous grey hair if they just let it grow out. It's the growing out bit that is tricky though, I admit.
In the immortal words of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young "Let your freak flag fly!"
My Grandmother was silver at twenty two, my husband was silver at thirty two my children didn't stand a chance and already have many a silver thread through their hair.
My Father on the other hand was still as dark as ever until he turned 90!! Me..In this family there is absolutely no point in pretending to be anything you aren't and as I am a combination of my genes I have very dark hair with silver stripes!!!!!! I live with it and have learnt to love it when I actually think about it, which is not often!!!!
Lovely to meet you.
You guys, thank you so much for your great ideas and kind words about my post. It is a pleasure to be here. I will figure out this gray hair thing, but now I have more (good things) to think about.
Hi there! Thank you very much for pointing out my thoughts. Still gray, still enjoying it, still agreeing that it's a lot easier to do having been blonde originally:).
Really, you are not supposed to use soap and water to remove makeup?
Lisa looks fabulous in gray hair. I definitely wouldn't with my skin tone -- very Irish pink.
Love Sulky Kitten's comment about the decrepit granny bin!
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