Friday, May 28, 2010

Dear Cherie. . .

Another busy week for Cherie, the Cannes film festival drew to a spectacular close -- thank heavens, it was exhausting. Lots of attendant parties, air kissing -- Cherie finds it irksome 
when someone actually touches her cheek with their lips. It disturbs the perfection of her professional makeup application. But what can a girl do ? She can't be rude to a major international mogul or film star. Cherie is not a name dropper.

You-Know-Who has been whinny and annoying -- a two week plateau on her regime. Cherie has suggested several times a little exercise wouldn't hurt and no where in Dr. Dukan's book does he suggest "you are allowed one big vodkacocktail per week." She gets testy when someone tries to help. She calls it criticism. Cherie calls it a waste of her precious time.

Speaking of time management, Cherie manages to work five days one-on-one with her personal trainer plus massages and regular endotherapy sessions for theteeny bit of cellulite which Cherie believes can be rolled off with pressure, followed by liters of water consumption. As Cherie has mentioned on several occasions she feels those cellulite creams -- no matter how much caffeine is in packed into the ingredients -- are a waste of time and money. Your thighs and bottom look rosy and taut for about as long as it takes to get dressed. It's better to go the camouflage route with a fake tan -- applied by a professional -unlessone is blessed with dark skin.                                                                                                                 

Enough about moi, even though Cherie could go on and on and you would never be bored -- jealous perhaps, but never a hint of ennui.

Let's attack your questions, one in particular is juicy -- unfortunately literally and figuratively.

Q: Mme. M: Dear Cherie, Please tell me that you've seen Marc Jacobs posing greasy and naked for his new men's fragrance, Bang. Please tell me you have a keen take on this homme d'un certain age in the midst of a spectacular midlife crisis. Please. I could use a laugh!

A: My dear Mme. M,  To Cherie's great regret she has indeed seen this blatant display of narcissistic exhibitionism. Terrifying. Cherie can't decide whether he should be basted or busted.

Q: Mme. D: Dear Cherie, I don't understand why you keep saying You-Know-Who is not having success on her regime. It seems to me you are being extremely unfair. When I look at her in Edith's drawings I can see how much progress she has made. Since I know you are never jealous and always honest, perhaps you would like to apologize or explain.

A: Dear Mme. D, Since you have given Cherie two options, she'll choose "explain." Edith is her great friend -- Cherie has met her, but there was no chemistry and she makes her appear paper thin. If Cherie is not mistaken she thinks it' s called, "artistic license." If one could give Edith a ticket and a fine for the license she is taking with her license she would have a jail sentence.

You will see YKW never bares her arms. Enough said.

Q: Mme. F: Dear, dear Cherie, We all know you were invited to every party, film and event worth attending during the Canne film festival. Since you are so discreet and never let anyone take your picture, would you at least show us a few of the dresses you wore.

A: My dear Mme. F, Of course Cherie hit all the hot spots, but did her best to avoid the paparazzi which on the downside leaves us with no photographic proof of Cherie's presence. You will simply have to take her word for it. Cherie was there. Some days included three or four changes of ensembles. Above are a few of the gowns worn for a couple of the special soirees. From the top: Emporio Armani, Alexander McQueen (without the cape), Oscar de la Renta, Roberto Cavalli (sans the stupid scarf) and Donna Karan.

Q: Mme. R, Chere Cherie, Is it true? Did Karl Lagerfeld really give his "beauty" secrets to French Elle and if so do you plan to use any of them? Should we?

A: Dear Mme. R, Oh yes, it's true and Cherie has already made up her shopping list. First on the agenda is what he calls one of his fetich products which he claims will rid us of puffy eyes, Depuffing Eye Gel  from Benefit. He also likes: Klorane's dry shampoo (more on this subject in a later encounter, Cherie has some thoughts), Propoline Lip-Aid from Apivita and Pleasure of Japanese Bath from Shu Uemura. In Cherie's opinion, when Karl speaks we should all listen.

When asked "what is your favorite spa?" He replied: "I detest spas and people in bathrobes."

Et voila, until next week, mes cheres. (Please excuse words that run together and any other strange typos. Something went berserk with the layout today.)


hostess of the humble bungalow said...

Marc that's a LOT of foil....and by the look of it, an oil slick too....and is that a basting pan?
Not embracing this one...I prefer the quilted handbags!

Duchesse said...

re MJ:
1. Remember the "before" Marc, the schulbby, shy boy in the baggy crew necks? A remarkable physical transformation, not that we need to see so much of it. Lagarfeld did the same via a massive diet. Due to age, he hasn't stripped off for display, but if he were 35 years younger, I'd count on seeing more of Karl too.
2. If one didn't know this was MJ, just a model, it's a risqué shot, but no more than some of Gisele et al.

Anonymous said...

Re Marc Jacobs and the case of Basted v. Busted ... well ... can't we do both?!

That Klorane dry shampoo is hideous. Smells hideous, looks hideous, and worst of all, feels hideous. (Just my opinion, of course.) Allegedly, there's a much better dry shampoo in the states called Rockstar something. I've read of it twice now in the last week. Anyhow, I can't believe Uncle Karl likes Klorane.

I think that Roberto Cavalli dress (sans the stupid scarf, of course) would be exactly perfect for a Gipsy Kings show in the south of France on evening in the dead heat of summer. It's so perfect.

Good work this week, Cherie!

xoxox --

Beadboard UpCountry said...

First let me say I loved the Lab and the lady in the gray and white ensemble in your last post. I think Cherie's choice of showing the Armani is a good one. Loved that!!!Maryanne xo

Metropolitan Mum said...

Mhm. Dry shampoo. I never bought into that trend. For me it just smacks of old people's homes.
And Marc and the foil? Not convinced either...

Shelley said...

Sorry, Marc's photo does nothing for me; I think he should go take a shower and put some clothes on. I'm obviously not the demographic they're aiming at, huh?

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

The red dress. Please, may I have the red dress?

And Marc looks ridiculous.

BonjourRomance said...

Is that Marc Jacobs or a foil wrapped crevette?
Yes the Cavalli is fabulous sans stupid scarf! And the Oscar sans the bird hat.
Ah Cherie you must have had a delightful time...

Britta said...

Britta thinks, if Marc would put that foil over his head, and remove all the depuffing creme from benetint from his skin (you got it all wrong, Marc - it was for your eyes!) maybe - maybe, I say - he'll be quite a nice sight? Eh?

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