Thursday, December 17, 2009

Perfect Holiday Bookings























It's true. I overuse superlatives and exclamation points! I've analyzed this character flaw and have come to the conclusion it's probably the consequence of working too many years as a fashion journalist.

I mention this elucidation before I launch into what could not be a more sincere and heartfelt elogé for the extraordinarily creative writing of Els on her blog Mon Avis Mes Amis.

Els is to put it simply: Brilliant. I am in no way exaggerating. She is a weaver of tales, a story teller of the first order. As you read her words listen to her phrasing, her wicked wit, her irreverently stylish prose, her insouciant approach to the quotidian -- she writes with such high-spirited irony and joy one wants more and more and more. 

That's why I asked her for this Christmas gift sampler below. In a few moments you too will understand why, occasionally, hyperbole is the only choice one has. (Tishxo)

**********************************

                                                           By Els

Christmas, if one could people it with fictional characters, would be perfect. As it is, we have to rub along with imperfect and maddening types who jar with our dreams and get right on our nerves. I suggest you buy them books - transporting someone to a pretend land is almost as good as zapping them off the face of the earth. Impossible-to-buy-for-buggers include, but are by no means restricted to:

1. The Martyred Mother















All steam-reddened cheeks and gale-force sighs, she truly believes Christmas would go to the dogs without her unique input. Get her something to remind her that life needs a bit of a glamorous veil at times, and that she'd be more cossetted if she played the coquette a bit more. Don't Tell Alfred by Nancy Mitford will remind her that stumping crossly about in worsted tights yields much less than flirting, giggling and beautiful stockings.

2. The Sulky Teen















Goth khol, determinedly dreary clothes and a perma-scowl. Give her Baudelaire's (complete works, including English translation) poems to show her what real fin-de-siecle malaise looks like and give her something to be interesting about at the miserable parties she'll be slouching around at the minute she's limply opened her presents. This one's a lost cause. For now.

3. The Bottom-Obsessed Little Boy















Roddy Doyle's The Giggler Treatment is perfect for adults still at the read-me-a-story phase. Lots of different dialects to amuse the reader, if not the listening child, especially after a couple of glasses of Christmas cheer, and a twist-and-turn story to exhaust them before blessed early bedtime. Oh, and it's all about poo. This used to have the bots and me helpless with laughter.

4. The Impossible To Please In-law

Something huge and heavy; content irrelevant, just club him/her into a coma with it while no-one's looking.

5. Your Lover















Surrealist poetry and fascinating photographs from Lee Miller. Lie decadently abed awaiting your glass of champagne and plate of blinis leafing langorously through this and listening to Ella Fitzgerald. Silk lingerie mandatory; read aloud to each other between erm, the sheets.

6. The Left-the-Nest-Fledgeling















Easy - Nigella's, How to Eat. No doubt they will be existing on expensive lunchtime sandwiches and the odd lasagne for attempted grown-up dinner parties. This book, even apart from the luscious prose, will instruct the sophisticate wannabe in basic cookery techniques, store-cupboard must-haves and incredibly easy to do but completely amazing dishes for pretty much all occasions. If you're feeling flush and don't own it, buy one for yourself.

7. Your Old College Chum















Knackered by child-rearing, mortgages, juggling life and getting on a bit, Rosamond Lehmann's Dusty Answer will take them back to the halcyon days of intense friendships, nascent fascination with Other People and a lovely glimpse into the early days of women's education at Cambridge. Seriously sumptuous prose, this is the literary equivalent of eating most of a Stilton alone; in my book, a splendid indulgent end to a perfect day.

8. Travel Buff d'Un Certain Age











Alec Waugh's (brother of the infamous Evelyn) Island in the Sun. Fabulous, if tragic, story of the West Indian planter classes in the 1950s. Great characters, great social insight and a really gripping tale. Send them back to a time when one wore gloves to fly and spent evenings avoiding the ghastly bores at Consulate drinks parties. Guaranteed to give you two hour's peace from lonely old Uncle Edgar.

9. Slightly Awkward Little Girl














The utter classic The Secret Garden; lots of spine-tingling Victorian melodrama, which is surprisingly easy for even the most dedicated X-Box child to read. Sympathetic tragic heroine, ghostly happenings, the curative forces of narure and sinister gardeners. Even better, make an hour for her to read it to you.

10. Military Buff 









Book token, tucked suggestively down your stocking top. You don't want to be bothering with all those dull little wars when there's fun to be had.

(Painting: "Femme en bas noir" by Egon Schiele)

18 comments:

Marsi said...

Wonderful recommendations (even for one's own self), but it's the droll commentary that really makes this post. <3

Dedene said...

Great gift ideas and delightful descriptions. Thanks!

Jeanne-Aelia Desparmet-Hart said...

MON AVIS, MES AMIS is beyond admiration! (exclamation point!!!) I love, love, love her blog. I wait ot read it every single time she posts. The book list is going straight to my husband THE reader and I will needless to say, dip into it myself. What a great idea and, as usual, fun and creative and very british remarks. MERCI, and MERCI, Tish for such a marvelous post!!!!!

Lily Lemontree said...

What excellent suggestions! I also checked out Els at her blog, simply fabulous! Tish-you never steer us wrong!

James said...

E how do you do it? I think even reading your grocery list would be a hoot. Thank you for the post and thank you Tish for getting her to do it.
P.S.
Tish it's not a character flaw,but an enthusiasm for life!

Cathi said...

Wonderful post!!! :)

knitpurl said...

Loved these. El's comments are all that has been written above. What a gift! She needs to publish something. Glad you could share these, Tish, as well as Jeanne-Aelia's thoughts a few days ago.
xo Carole

Deja Pseu said...

These suggestions all look fabulous and these are the most fun and interesting book reviews I've read in a long time!

BigLittleWolf said...

I guffawed at number 4. (And it's a tad... genant to guffaw at my age and diminutive stature.)

As for the rest - delightful!

(And anyone who appreciates Egon Schiele is A-OK in my book, and then some.)

Fabulous suggestions!

Lily Lemontree said...

Me again, almost forgot to tell you that there is a little something for you over at my blog. Have a great day!

Anoninoz said...

Absolutely agree with you too - Els writes in a most awe inspiring way - just brilliant. And I love the book reviews too - given me several ideas (know which one Mr SE would prefer too !)

Bonjour Madame said...

This was entertaining! Must get Nigella's book pronto.

Trish @ Mum's Gone to... said...

Isn't she just a gem? It's a special treat every time I read a new post from ELS. Must get a heavy atlas to wallop the relatives.

Anonymous English Female said...

ELS - your regular followers know you have great style - beautifully exemplified in this post. Anyone reading this who doesn't already read MonAvisMesAmis will see what they're missing. Hope that stack of books on a sandy beach in Barbados has a large congratulatory cocktail balanced on the top...

ELS said...

You are all too kind for words; thanks for having me, Tish. Dodgy internet and melting ice, must dash but am so touched by your generous and lovely comments.

Hot, trying hard to imagine the UK under snow, Elsx

Anonymous said...

How can i carry away windows xp from my laptop and reinstall windows Me -the laptops original software?
I suffer with recently bought a used laptop that is old. The living soul I had bought it from had installed windows xp on it, orderly though it at came with windows Me. I after to expunge the windows xp because it runs slows on the laptop because it takes up more thought than the windows Me would. Also I wish to transfer windows xp because it is an proscribed copy. So when I tried to stir one's stumps updates on it, windows would not introduce updates because the windows xp is not genuine. [URL=http://qolxooi.instantfreehosting.com]alena snow[/URL]
----------------------------------------------------------------------

Answers :

It's better to leave [URL=http://yiewkie.hostific.com/dulli-lanegan-covers-review.html]dulli lanegan covers review[/URL] Windows XP and impartial upgrade your laptop. It's much better. [URL=http://rxoeayp.hostific.com/performa-definition.html]performa definition[/URL] In addition, Windows XP is trail [URL=http://leuqaua.hostific.com/tuttlingen-stadthalle.html]tuttlingen stadthalle[/URL] better then Windows Me. Windows Me is d‚mod‚ and many programs that can run with XP, can't [URL=http://xyeyjqa.hostific.com/children-of-paradise-screenplay.html]children of paradise screenplay[/URL] look over with Me.
------------------------------
all you possess to do is brochure the windows me disk into the cd drive. then reboot your laptop, when the malignant [URL=http://aoyuxny.instantfreehosting.com/durham-correctional-center.html]durham correctional center[/URL] shield with all the info comes up and when it asks u to boot from cd [URL=http://meinoic.hostific.com/2007-dodge-nitro-dash-issues.html]2007 dodge nitro dash issues[/URL] hit any key when it tells you to then install from there !!! I RECOMEND SINCE ITS AN ILLEAGLE TWIN TO WIPE [URL=http://ltufakb.hostific.com/jacuzzi-brand-spa-parts.html]jacuzzi brand spa parts[/URL] OUT OF THE CLOSET THE [URL=http://xwurmbs.hostific.com/ikea-nottingham-uk.html]ikea nottingham uk[/URL] ENTIRE TIRING PUSH WHEN IT ASKS YOU WHICH IMPENETRABLE [URL=http://goavsim.instantfreehosting.com/clarence-larkin.html]clarence larkin[/URL] DRIVE TO POSITION IT ON. THEN UNITE ALL THE UNUSED SPACE ON THE WASTE [URL=http://rnnvevj.hostific.com/rv-parks-at-branson-mo.html]rv parks at branson mo[/URL] REALISTIC DRIVE ONTO A BRAND-NEW COLUMN LOCATION, IT WILL-POWER LOOK LIKE C:/ Raw or something like that

Anonymous said...

Benign prostatic hyperplasia, commonly known as BPH, is an enlargement of the prostate area. It is more profuse in older men. As men are becoming more educated about strength issues, they direct to medical treatment for BPH. Dutas, a generic form of Avodart([URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart.html]avodart[/URL] [URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-medicine.html]avodart medicine[/URL] [URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/shedding-on-avodart.html]shedding on avodart[/URL] [URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/side-effects-of-avodart-prostate.html]side effects of avodart prostate[/URL] [URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-frontal-baldness.html]avodart frontal baldness[/URL] ), has been proven as an functional treatment of BPH. BPH and its symptoms that adversely affect the grandeur of lifestyle can be treated successfully at near Dutas. The first clues of BPH is the frequency of essential to urinate. This occurs chiefly at continually but then progresses to the need to urine frequently entirely the day. BPH sufferers afterward discharge a reduction in tenaciousness in urine stream. Bother accompanies this reduction. A medical doctor should conduct testing to discover if BPH is the grounds of the symptoms. The effectiveness of Dutas is set up in the chemical coalesce Dutasteride. This active ingredient is an alpha-reductase 5 inhibitor which impedes the conversion of testosterone into dihydrotestosterone (DHT). DHT is considered a persuasive species of testosterone. BPH symptoms vanish in a minute the conversion is interrupted. Dutas has been base to be useful in BPH towards sundry sufferers. Prescriptions finasteride and finasteride has been shown to no greater than curb one isoform of alpha redictase 5. It has been established that Dutasteride has been proven to impede two isoforms. Dutas incontestably appears to provide the best treatment available after BPH. Dutas impel be entranced as directed with some precautions. Erectile dysfunction and decreased sexy libido are the most commonly reported side effects during usage of Dutas. Gynecomastia or enlargement of manly heart combination is another possible side effect. Additionally, women who are teeming or women wanting to become weighty should not be exposed to Dutas; developing male fetuses can be adversely affected by these inhibitors. Dutas can be immersed wholly the skin so special dolour should be exercised concerning enceinte women or women wanting to ripen into pregnant. Another side effect of Dutas is a uncontested one. Some men possess reported hair replenishment while entrancing Dutas. BPH can be treated by way of discussing medications and feasible side effects with a medical professional. Dutas can provide competent treatment of BPH. A worry-free, active subsistence is justly quality the effort.
[URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/prices-for-avodart.html]prices for avodart[/URL]
[URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-aloe.html]avodart aloe[/URL]
[URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-result.html]avodart result[/URL]
[URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-vs-proscar.html]avodart vs proscar[/URL]
[URL=http://jeqpqpv.1freewebspace.com/avodart-effects-hormone.html]avodart effects hormone[/URL]

Anonymous said...

hi all
http://www.tor.com/community/users/parmolanhy1982
http://www.tor.com/community/users/gravneyvide1975
http://www.tor.com/community/users/logsumitea1976
http://www.tor.com/community/users/ittrapadex1974
http://www.tor.com/community/users/linkmarete1981

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...